Sometimes in life we feel just stuck. It may be a difficult, temporary situation where we cannot see any light. It may also be a pattern, or tendency for putting ourselves into specific positions or events, almost like deliberately exposing ourselves to troubles. The harder you’re trying to avoid it in your life, the more you feel like a magnet of those unfortunate events or people – all similar in some ways. If you feel like that, this interview with life coach Daniel Dzikowski is for you!
Daniel, your background is IT. So how did you become a coach?
I originally came from a business background, but I was always interested in inner work from a young age. So when I started my first business at 26, I also started meditation, and this journey took me into the realm of emotions and thoughts. I had a challenging childhood, so I knew I needed a way to face all my fears and limitations in order to succeed in my business. I learned many tools and techniques but I also discovered that I identified with my thinking. This means that my sense of existence was in my thoughts and not in reality. I did not see that I was not my thoughts and beliefs. This shift allowed a remarkable change to happen within me. It gave me the power to create my life and not to be a victim.
I understand that it’s important how we interpret the external world and circumstances?
It’s crucial because our interpretations result in specific experiences, so if we genuinely want to change our experience, we must change how we view people or circumstances. However, the challenge comes when our past programs cause us to misinterpret situations. For example, we see something or someone as bad without understanding that our thinking and feeling create our experience and not the other way round. Therefore, we must first correct our inner world to create a beautiful experience of the outer world.
Do you mean we should make peace with bad things happening to us?
As long as we see something as ‘bad’ and have an adverse emotional reaction towards it, we do not see it clearly and will resist it. Our actions will then be detrimental. We must first process all the emotions behind the event to see it more clearly and to see it through the eyes of love. Each challenging event is an opportunity to let go of the very emotions that are triggered. In doing this, we start to gain a new, more empowering perspective, a perspective more in line with a greater truth where there is no pain and suffering. From this place, any actions we take to improve a situation will come from a purer place and have a more favourable result. A place where magic starts to happen.
Many of us will not agree with this.
People dismiss this idea because of the amount of pain in the world and this is perfectly understandable. They see all of the pain and suffering happening and say, how can this not be ‘bad’? However, I believe there is a greater truth which can only be accessed when we have let go of all of the pain inside of us. The more we let go, the more freedom and joy we experience. We then start to see why the world is the way it is and not through the lens of our beliefs and emotions. This new perspective empowers us in every way possible.
What’s the art of letting go, practically?
Letting go is the most practical thing you can do. Nothing else can bring about such massive shifts in your life and at a level where you experience deep-seated changes.
Letting go is ultimately the release of belief systems that limit you and your life. However, for that to happen, you must let go of any stuck emotions. Actual letting go occurs when you release these emotional energies from within you by allowing them to run their course. This means you are unconditional with them to the point that you don’t even want to change how you feel. You have let go of wanting to let go. You are comfortable being uncomfortable. If you want to feel better, then you are stuck in time, and letting go cannot happen. If you genuinely accept your feelings, then it doesn’t matter what happens with them. They can stay or go, but it doesn’t matter to you. At this point, letting go may just occur spontaneously. With this release, you experience lightness, more contentment and many other benefits. From this place, you not only view the world with more clarity, but you view yourself from a changed perspective. People start to react differently to you, and you don’t feel like you are carrying so much. Things become more manageable, and you begin to see how life happens to help and not hinder you. Letting go is allowing life to flow exactly how it wants to.
It requires a big amount of self acceptance and towards others.
It is about allowing people to be the way they are and then dealing with the internal feelings that come up within yourself when you do. It is about looking within consistently and not wanting to change any aspect of yourself or anyone else. When this happens, everything that needs to be healed will come up to do so. When these emotions are released, then any troubling circumstance or person will be dealt with from the highest possible place. This means it will become impossible for people to take advantage of you and your actions will come from love and not fear.
It sounds easy in theory, but I know it is not. The most difficult thing is when you are going through hard times with your loved ones or those you depend on.
I work with many different people from various industries and positions in life, but all of them tend to have one thing in common. They are successful externally, but internally, they are struggling. They may have this constant need to be someone in the external world without understanding the actual cause of the way they feel happens to be within them. They are running away from their feelings into something else. For example, if they are an actor, they may be seeking more fame to cover up feelings of not being good enough. If they are a business person, then they may seek business growth to cover up feelings of inadequacy. Often I speak to individuals who are in the middle of a divorce, and they are stuck in blame towards their ex. Here there is often a battleground, but it doesn’t need to be that way. When you let go, miracles begin to happen. The people around you begin to change and at that point you realise that you only experienced life this way to help you heal.
What’s the most common problem these days?
It’s difficult to pinpoint one particular issue but what I say to my clients is that the biggest challenge we have is facing our feelings. Almost everything we do is done to avoid our feelings. For example, we may find ourselves going shopping to cover up feelings of unworthiness, or perhaps we choose to be in a problematic relationship because we are scared of being alone. We may find ourselves drinking because we don’t feel good enough, or we resort to blaming to cover up feelings of guilt. A common one is trying to change others to avoid the feelings within. The list is endless. Most of us act from a fear-based paradigm, and we do this to avoid the challenging feelings we are carrying. When we let go, we then act from love.
People say, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade – do you agree?
I think we can make lemonade at any moment, but it means understanding that it is possible to do so. Challenges and difficulties come in many forms, but there is always an opportunity for more love. More love can mean a change of perspective, accepting a situation or even choosing to love instead of hate. Most people, though, find it difficult to see how to make lemonade because they let their anger and resentment run the course of their experience. They get caught up in these challenging emotions and don’t realise that these are the gateway to something beautiful. However, like making lemonade, there is a specific process you need to follow when faced with difficult emotions.
How would you describe yourself and your “mission”?
I love to help people understand the most profound aspects of themselves whether it is through one-to-one coaching, workshops or public speaking. I am naturally a sensitive individual so I can connect very well with how someone is feeling and I can often see something about them that they are having difficulty recognising. Most of us carry a tremendous amount of emotional baggage, but in truth, we are unaware that this is the case. We have so much anger, sadness, guilt and many other emotions but the lack of awareness and honesty means we cannot do anything about them. One of my aims is to show people what they are still carrying. If they can see it and feel it then they can heal it.
The Law of Attraction became popular some time ago, and some people found it helpful, but some are somewhat skeptical. Do you believe we can move mountains with willpower?
We should begin by asking ourselves why we want to attract certain things in our lives. If you ask them, most people want a better job, a bigger house or a more understanding partner. The list goes on. However, the core reason they are asking for these things is that they believe that these things will make them feel differently. For example, they believe having a bigger home or a more successful career will bring about a sense of satisfaction or happiness. Don’t buy into the illusion behind the Law of Attraction that things will make you content. The point to understand is that unless you deal with the underlying feelings, no amount of money or external ‘success’ will change how you feel in the long run. You will eventually revert back to your old state. It’s nice to have luxurious things and unique experiences but don’t depend on them to make you happy.
Happiness is complicated 🙂
Well, with all that being said, have some fun with the Law of Attraction. Play around with it but throughout all of this, keep letting go of any emotional blocks that may surface. This will not only make it easier to manifest stuff, but you’ll be working at the root and, therefore, will become happier anyway.
Do you believe we’re parasites of this planet, or do we have wonderful potential?
I think it depends on where you are on your inner journey. You can make the point that our behaviour is parasitic, but if you say ‘we are parasites,’ you are mistaking who we are for what we do. Moving higher up the scale of consciousness, you might say that we have fantastic potential, but we need to iron out a few imperfections. Higher than this might be the notion that everything is perfect and there is nothing wrong.
Please elaborate on this…
I think there are many different perspectives, but they all depend on how much of the picture you see. The less you see, the more pain there is. Once you see the entire picture, then I think you will see life as perfect. This, though, is a very advanced state. It is important to note that if you are at a specific state of consciousness, you cannot see above that state. This means that saying the world is perfect as it is may seem utterly ridiculous to most people, especially when there is so much crime, poverty and disease.
Letting go will enable you to move to higher states of consciousness, and by doing this, you will begin to see the gift within each challenging circumstance.
Your father was a psychiatrist; what is your relationship with academic science?
I believe that when you want to look at any problem, you must look at all aspects. The four essential areas are the physical, mental/emotional, spiritual and consciousness. Academic science only really deals with the physical layer. It touches upon the emotional, but it does so intellectually and very superficially. The other aspects are critical. Soon we will see science change to include all four elements. There are, of course, many other areas ranging from external stress, which isn’t really external, toxicity to nutrition, but these are all outside of us. When we look within, we are getting to the root, and I believe almost all ailments can be corrected when the internal state is restored.
Thank you for an interesting conversation. Time to let it go!
Thank you!
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